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Playgroups: Not Just Kid Stuff
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An article from
BabyZone.com
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TEXT SIZE:
 
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By Katherine Waters-Clark
Friday mornings, no matter how inclement the weather, frazzled my nerves, or uncooperative my little darlings, I bundled our weary bones into the car and hit the gas.
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Once at my destination, I was embraced with hot coffee, warm banana bread, and soothing friendship. My war stories were heard ("I had just changed her and she threw up all over her new sweater!"), my frustrations acknowledged ("He sat down right on the unfolded laundry and said, 'Whew, am I beat! What's for dinner?'").
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Together, we watched our children play and fight and whine and cry, just like they did at home. Yet somehow, alongside each other, it wasn't so tedious. Three hours later, armed with a full tummy, a nurtured soul, and a fresh perspective, I knew I was not alone. I could face another week of parenting.
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This priceless, rejuvenating respite was not found at a spa. It was available right in my own backyard. It was my neighborhood playgroup.
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When my daughters were tiny, our playgroup gave my now-grade-schoolers an opportunity to meet new friends, explore new surroundings, and hone their budding social skills. But even more importantly, playgroup gave me a safe, sane place to connect regularly with other mothers, other women. Despite our differences, we shared a common bond: on a daily basis, we juggled the profound joy and lonely isolation of at-home parenting. Although playgroup was wonderful for our children, on occasion, even the dads, grandparents, in-town visitors, and caregivers joined us. But make no mistake about it. Playgroup was a lifesaver for this mom.
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Before deciding to form my own playgroup, I had enthusiastically—but unsuccessfully—attempted joining lots of other groups. There was the Wednesday drop-in playgroup (too large), a previously established mom's group (too exclusive), even a cooperative playgroup (too much work). Finally, two neighbors with same-aged children, with whom we had occasionally played, agreed to meet once a week. Over the next few months, two more moms joined us, then two more. We made coffee, ate bagels, gave out juice boxes. Then we took turns hosting. Next we created age-appropriate crafts for the kids. Then we designed a list with phone numbers, addresses, birthdates (of kids and moms), emails, and husbands' names. Without even trying, we had formed a neighborhood playgroup.
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As weeks turned into months and years, we hosted potlucks and cookouts with our husbands. Our menus evolved from bagels and a carton of juice to spinach quiche and fruit platters. We cooked chickens for each other's sick families. We threw birthday parties and snowballs, made pitchers of iced coffees and Margaritas, baked Valentine's cupcakes and casseroles, soothed bloody lips and crying babies, changed wet diapers and soaked jeans, and made leaf piles and ornaments. We exchanged recipes and child-rearing philosophies. We discussed spirituality, politics, and marriage. We established a rich, nurturing community.
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A few years ago, our playgroup adjusted to kindergarten schedules and new babies. We started meeting less frequently. Still, our bond remains. Each Friday morning, wherever my station wagon takes me, I raise my lukewarm coffee and gratefully acknowledge my playgroup pals. Without them, my parenting journey would be a much lonelier road.
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If forming a neighborhood playgroup sounds like something you would enjoy, then read on. You will be giving yourself, your family, and your community an indispensable support system.
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Eight Simple Rules for Starting a Playgroup
1. Before asking other moms to form a playgroup with you, ask yourself the following questions: What are you looking for in a playgroup? The answer will be different for everyone. Are you looking for diversity (for yourself or your children)? Would you rather meet like-minded parents? Would a group of formerly professional women, women who work part-time, moms over 40, women whose husbands travel, or single moms work better for you? What about a group for stay-at-home dads? Would you like same-aged kids, families with multiples, families with adopted children, bilingual families, and kids with special needs? Or are you looking for a group with similar or different socioeconomic, ethnic, religious backgrounds, and parenting styles?
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2. Once you've determined your needs, think about parents you already know. Call one or two moms and invite them over for a playtime and brainstorming session.
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3. Start small. If you have one child and each of the three moms you invite has one child, you will have a manageable group.
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4. Decide on a place and time to meet. In warmer months, you could try a park, beach, or field at a planned time. Often, mornings are the best time to meet with toddlers, since the older kids are in school.
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5. If you're hosting the group at your home, provide a few simple snacks (and always check for food and nut allergies). And, of course, coffee (remember the decaf, especially for nursing moms). Guests could each bring something to share or simply be responsible for their own snack.
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6. If you don't know any moms in your neighborhood, ask your doctor's office or spiritual center to connect you with other mothers. Walk around with the kids and meet your neighbors. Go to the local coffee shop or park. You will undoubtedly meet someone who would be thrilled to join you.
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7. Once you've invited the moms and agreed to form a playgroup, pick a time and location for the group. Later, you can rotate a schedule to meet in each others' homes. After the group is established, think about creating a phone list and a schedule. Discuss whether or not you'd like the host to provide the snacks, if everyone should bring a shared snack, or if you'd like to collect "dues" for snacks and crafts. Decide how the group will invite new members. Perhaps whoever hosts the group could invite a newcomer each week.
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8. If your playgroup focuses primarily on moms, think about including the dads once in awhile so they can get to know each other, too. Host a Friday night barbeque in the summer or a potluck in the winter.
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| About the Author |
| Katherine Waters-Clark makes lots of parenting mistakes and then writes about them. Her stories have been published in numerous parenting publications, and she's even won an award or two—not bad for blabbing about blunders. Katherine lives with her husband, her fraternal twin daughters, and their cat Milly outside of Boston.
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