Imagine you’re a toddler. You’ve had fun helping
mom and dad put up weird decorations, and even more fun putting on a costume.
But now the doorbell is ringing, scary monsters are standing outside chanting
— and your parents open the door! And give the monsters candy!
Or maybe your parents take you out at night. It’s dark.
You walk to the neighbour’s house, where you hear creepy music and see
glowing pumpkins. Getting the candy is OK, but as you leave the porch, several
more terrifying monsters come running toward you. Is it any surprise you want
to go home?
Linda McKinlay, who teaches infant/toddler care at Okanagan
University College in Kelowna, BC, says, “Toddlers need to enter the Halloween
experience carefully, with you by their side. As parents, we need to create
an experience that is less about scary and more about fun.”
Some toddlers aren’t really scared, they just don’t
get it. “I think my expectations of Connor were too high,” Sandra
Milligan says of her son, now five. “When he was a toddler, we dressed
him up and took him to neighbours’ houses. He couldn’t figure out
the whole point of Halloween. He didn’t want to just take some candy and
go to the next house — he wanted to go in and play with his friends. By
the third house, he was fed up and insisted on going home.”
It’s a confusing ritual to be sure. Here are some suggestions
on how to reduce Halloween’s fear factor:
Party instead. Michelle Sears describes her 16-month-old
daughter, Cori, as “timid,” and Sears knew trick-or-treating would
be more stressful than fun for her daughter. So she planned a small party with
several other families who also had toddlers. They ate Halloween muffins and
other goodies, and the kids thought it was fun to see each other’s costumes.
Instead of a mask or potentially frightening outfit, Sears dressed Cori in a
sleeper with a cow print and added a hat with ears sewn on to complete the look.
Become a mall rat. The following year, Sears took her
now two-year-old daughter to a Halloween event at the local mall. At the entrance
to each store, staff handed out small treats to children arriving in costume.
“It seemed like a safe approach to me,” Sears says.
“We were indoors — not walking down the street in the dark and cold,
and everything was brightly lit so even the scary decorations didn’t seem
so bad.”
The not-so-scary costume. Most toddlers can’t
comprehend that when we wear a mask, we are still the same person underneath.
McKinlay suggests having masks (safe for toddlers) around for them to play with
before Halloween to lessen the scariness.
Keep preparations simple. Leave out witches, monsters and
goblins if your toddler is worried about these things, and just decorate with
pumpkins and fall leaves. In fact, Halloween activities — scooping out
the squishy insides of pumpkins, making decorations out of orange playdough,
gluing coloured leaves onto paper — might end up being the most fun.
Trick-or-treat tricks. If you are going trick-or-treating,
do it during daylight, since many toddlers are afraid of the dark. Plan to go
trick-or-treating at the homes of friends, if possible. Stick close by your
child and crouch down at the door so you’re a reassuring presence.
When trick-or-treaters come to your house, open the door
slowly and let your child see that you’re not worried. If you know the
children, ask them to remove their masks and say hi to your toddler.
By keeping Halloween toddler-friendly, you’ll give your
child some good memories and set the stage for even more spooky fun as he gets
older.
Safety First
- Check all candy for chokables (toddlers have been
known to sneak candy from the bag and start munching on it while cruising
from house to house).
- Jack-o’-lanterns with candles should be placed
out of reach.
- Avoid costumes with drawstrings around the neck or
around a hood — your child could catch the string on something and choke.
If the costume comes with one, remove it and add a button or Velcro fastener
instead.
