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By Elizabeth Lyons
Baby Babble
Toddler Talk
Preschool Communication
Trust Your Instincts
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Parents eagerly await demonstration of nearly all developmental milestones. A child who appears on the brink of his first step is likely to take center stage over even the Super Bowl as parents run haphazardly to retrieve every conceivable recording device in the house.
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Equally exciting is a child's first word. We imagine days of long, thought-provoking conversations with our budding philosopher—or at a minimum, a coherent explanation for why there's jelly all over the wall.
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The reality of speech development is that while many other milestones are seemingly reached in short order, speech takes a bit longer to perfect. In fact, the challenge really is twofold. Parents must not only weather the time period when their children are learning to coherently pronounce words and form sentences, but they must also wait patiently as their children master the ability to communicate their thoughts and needs at a speed relative to that at which their brains are spinning.
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Understanding what's normal (albeit frustrating at times) and what's not will help parents recognize when to seek help and when to simply take a few deep breaths and try again.
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Baby Babble
Babies begin babbling around two months of age, and most parents—if they're not too exhausted—are able to distinguish the difference between cries of hunger, pain, and pleasure. By about six months, babies are usually quite pleased with the sounds they can make (not to mention the amount of saliva they can produce while making them). They can repeat single syllables and begin listening more intently to those around them.
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By one year, most babies can follow simple instructions and should recognize their names when called. At this age, children are usually able to recognize and say a couple words, such as "mama" and "dada." Some children may also be able to formulate additional words, such as "yes," "no," "more," "eat," or "bye-bye." (But, don't be discouraged if your child is barely speaking at age one; children learn language at varying speeds. According to a study done by the University of Iowa, a typical 12-month-old child's vocabulary may include as little as one word and as many as 40.)
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According to Katherine Cook, MS, CCC/SLP, an Illinois-based, speech-language pathologist, "Many children have quite a limited vocabulary by their first birthday, and this does not necessarily mean that they are delayed. Speech milestones are approximations, and there is a wide range of normal in the first nine to fifteen months."
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By the time they celebrate the end of their first year, with what is likely their first taste of cake, most babies begin making more obvious attempts to communicate specific needs. The frustration that can result when parents don't respond exactly as the child wishes can be hard on everyone involved.
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One popular way to communicate with a child this young is through sign language. Notes Tracy Kunce, MS, CCC/SLP, a speech-language pathologist in the Chicago suburbs, "Sign language is a wonderful way to enrich the language environment and ease communication with little ones who aren't speaking much yet."
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Parents can begin teaching a baby signs for common words such as "more," "eat," "sleep," and "all done," between four and six months of age. With consistent reinforcement, many children will begin using these signs between ages seven and 11 months to communicate their needs and desires. To this day, my sons, who are now three, remember the signs for "more" and "please."
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Two great books from which to learn more about this approach are Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk, by Acredolo, Goodwyn, and Abrams, and Early Sign Language Basics: Early Communication for Hearing Babies and Toddlers, by Monta Briant.
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When to Worry
According to Cook, "If, by one year of age, a child doesn't appear to know his name, isn't babbling at all, or if parents believe their child's overall speech and language skills are leap years behind those of their peers, a consultation with their doctor and/or a speech-pathologist or audiologist should ease their concern or confirm the need for intervention."
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Toddler Talk
The toddler years are notorious for being trying when it comes to communication. The greatest frustration parents experience is perhaps the feeling that their child can understand them but can't effectively communicate his needs in response.
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A one- to two-year-old should be able to identify body parts and speak in two- to three-word combinations. He may not be able to voice his needs fluently, but he is usually able to figure out a way to get what he wants.
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Continuing to use sign language during this time is not only appropriate, it might even prove quite beneficial. A toddler will be capable of far more signs than a baby, and while his pronunciation is developing, signs will assist in making hard-to-pronounce words easier to understand. Some parents worry that at this age, using sign language might hinder a child's speech development. Not true. Kunce reassures that "baby signs are not a replacement for speech; they actually help facilitate language development" and recommends that parents "always use words and signs together."
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Though it may often appear otherwise, two- to three-year-olds should begin to understand the concept of taking turns and follow simple two-step commands. While it can be frustrating, it is also normal for them to repeat words or sounds in a sentence.
"The most common description for the repetition of a single word is 'stuttering,'" notes Cook. "It isn't correct to refer to the speech pattern in this way. Young children have a lot to say, and their mouths simply aren't able to keep up with their brains at this age, which results in what speech-language pathologists define as age-appropriate non-fluency."
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The best way to approach a child of this age is with short sentences, preferably of no more than five to seven words. Additionally, avoid using the word "no" as much as possible. (Chances are your child is using it enough for all of you!) Use positive requests ("Please walk") instead of negative ones ("Don't run").
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Finally, use short sentences that contain no more than two commands or requests. Asking your child to pat his head, rub his stomach, turn around, and then put his dishes in the sink will likely produce nothing more than a confused child who, in his frustration, bangs his head on the table, and then hurls his dish of spaghetti across the room.
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When to Worry
If by three years of age your child's speech is not approximately 90-percent intelligible, or she is not pronouncing all vowels, be sure to speak with your child's doctor or a speech-language pathologist.
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Preschool Communication
By three to four years of age, children should understand common verbs and adjectives, and should comprehend when/where and yes/no questions. A preschooler's average sentence length should be four to five words.
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If parents didn't believe their child could possibly have more to say than when she was a toddler, the preschool years will prove that it indeed is possible. Given all the new experiences in their lives, it's easy to understand why these little ones have plenty to say. Preschoolers want to talk to you about all that they are learning and they want to be sure you are paying the utmost attention to every minute detail.
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Additionally, many children have a self-created routine (that can change on a dime, by the way) to which they need everyone around them to adhere. Should you stray far from it or underestimate their needs in this area, you could be in for a fit that you neither anticipate nor comprehend.
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"Our communication challenges with our three-year-old daughter, Celie, often revolve around our inability to talk with her regarding why she's so upset at times. She has such a hard time if, for example, we try to put on her shoe when she was planning to do it," comments Ben Strain, dad to Celie and one-year-old Dominic in Olathe, Kansas. "Sometimes, there's just not time for her to explain (in great detail) why she's flipping out. It's as though she assumes we should know what she's thinking, and she doesn't seem interested in our explanation as to why her shoe needs to be put on immediately."
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During this time, Kunce reminds parents: "The best thing parents can do is provide a good speech model. Speak slowly and clearly, and try to remove time pressures for speaking. Let your child know that you are interested in what they have to say and you are more than happy to stop and listen."
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When to Worry
Cook recommends, "If hard-to-comprehend speech or other communication issues continue, become more severe, or your child seems constantly frustrated by speech and language challenges, contact a speech-language pathologist for an evaluation."
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Trust Your Instincts
As with everything else in parenting, it is so important for parents to trust their instincts when it comes to their child's speech and language development. If parents are concerned that something is just not right in terms of their child's development in this area, they should make an appointment with their child's doctor to discuss it. If the primary physician isn't concerned, but the parents aren't reassured in a short timeframe, they should contact a qualified speech professional on their own.
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Don't worry, the speech hurdle will end. One day, you'll surely be able to have lengthy discussions with your child about the theories of Freud or the views of Socrates. And when that happens, it might just be you who's in the position of trying to keep up!
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| About the Author |
| Elizabeth Lyons is the author of Ready or Not…Here We Come! The REAL Experts' Cannot-Live-Without Guide to the First Year with Twins.
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